well as many probably have... i received my pre-ordered copy of the 'quantum edition' of 'what the bleep.'

i came upstairs and immediately began watching.

WOW! is all i can say. i love this kind of mind *bleep* stuff! love shaking the stuffing out of my being and feeling that sense of expanding.

i have not played with the quantum settings to watch it all different ways... only had time to watch the first CD plus the indept interviews on the backside.

will keep you posted.

if you haven't ordered your's yet... YOU SHOULD! http://whatthebleep.com/rabbithole/

;)

i just had the awesome opportunity to go to the esalen institute for a whole week and also attend a seminar.

it is a beautiful place. peaceful. all set up for communing, learning, growing, detoxing.

they are on the ocean's edge in big sur, california where natural hot springs spill out. they've built gorgeous tubs that allow around the clock tubbing in wonderful hot spring water overlooking the ocean. needless to say... i spent a LOT of time there!

they also have a naturally heated, non-clorine pool that overlooks the ocean as well. spent hours there sun bathing, taking a dip, etc.

they serve 3 wonderful, healthy meals a day. MMmmmm... i heard they have a recipe book at the printers right now. i WILL be buying it! some wonderful, healthy, tasty recipes.

i took a women's sexuality and health seminar. it was amazing, challenging, informative, and nurturing. i really got how so much of women's energy comes from our sexual being. nothing to do with the act of sex... just a basic life source, energy and spirit. so many women either are totoally unaware of that aspect of themselves or have shut it down due to fear, pressure, shame, past trama, etc. how devistating that is for us... we are left tired, depleted, unwhole with quite frankly, very little to give to anyone.

needless to say i came away understanding i have to create a better 'self' image, respect and adore myself fully, pamper and love myself and re-awaken the goddess within. only then will i have the abundance of energy and vibrance i need to help others.

if you haven't heard of the esalen instutute, you should! go to http://www.esalen.org/ and check it out. they have workshops on everything from spiritual, music, art, massage, philosophy, business and on and on.

i will tell you that coming back to real life and plugging in was hard! sigh. i so wanted the energy, simplicity, support, communion to go on forever.

guess i have to figure out how to create that everyday in my life....

as promised... i will share some of my experiences so far in trying shen.

i am extremely fortunate to be in the bay area and have access to the creator of shen therapy, richard pavek.

you can read more info at the shen therapy website, http://www.shentherapy.info/home.htm.

the basic premise is that if we have a hard time dealing with something, we will stop the event/emotions from completing their cycle. hence they get trapped in areas of our bodies. this impedes our natural energy flow.

shen therapy is a touch/energy therapy that aims to work these areas of the body to release the stored/unfinished emotions. they then finish their cycle of life and... fade away.

i had no idea what to expect and tried to keep a totally open mind. i am pretty desperate in getting at this "stuff" i knew and felt was there but forgot where i hid it. i was quite happy when richard said he would take me on as a client -- he is partially retired!

what i love about this therapy is that it does not have much to do with the "mind." with my damn mind/ego out of the way... my body and energy gets to do their stuff. it's pretty powerful!

richard warned me not to expect much the first few visits. i tried not to.

on a mental plane, not much did happen. but on a physical, energy level things began the first session... ever so slight, but...

what is amazing are those moments when your physical body will react -- like an abnormal twitch or a soft/unpainful muscle spasm. it began blowing me away at how this subtle body work created such physical effects!

my 4rd session was big... up to this point i was just getting comfortable with relaxing my brain and body. letting it... BE. this session though, my mind was active, all over the place but i was not controlling it so much. i could not tell if i was awake or asleep! it was very deep. very relaxing. from this a lot of nighttime dreaming began surfacing which i shared with richard to help him in his direction.

my 5th visit was the BIG session! the pieces now coming together. the initial pain/trama and it's story out in the open to be discussed and worked. with this ammunition on hand, richard began the therapy. almost immediately the waves of emotion surfaced. i sobbed through sections of the work. and at one point he gave me soft verbal queues to take me back to "the place and time" of my initial pain. there visually i had the tools to let the feelings flow and for the first time... have some understanding about them.

i am not any where near finished with my work. but DAMN! for only 5 visits, the amount of growth, understanding, and release i have had is just FREAKING crazy!

i had had my regular doctor suggest i see a psychiatrist. the pain was so great. it was building to... something. and i was getting frazzled and exhausted. i promised her i would but never did. i have tried this route 3 times in my past. i have to tell you... i did not/could not get anywhere! it's no wonder as i know what i know today... psychiatry is OF THE MIND and the mind/ego is this stubborn, story-telling, brat-like entity that you cannot rationalize with much. i am beginning to see that maybe psychiatry is trying to fix the SYMPTOMS... but cannot see the real wound.

as i sit here today... i truly feel richard's shen therapy is about the real wounds. is wholistic and takes into account ALL the physical and non-physical aspects that make you and i up.

thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU richard!